x is my least favorite letter now because of math
Y?
i swear to fucking god
we found love in a mildly disappointing place
now you’re just somebody that i know by first name
tonight, we are average age
i walk this fairly populated road
carry on my adequately well-adjusted son
foetus, foetus, foetus ohhhh
shoot me down but i won’t fall, i am the chemical element of atomic no. 22
(Source: inkse)
*michael voice* fuck you gavin
*gavin voice* but mICHAEL
*jacks voice* MI-COOL
*Geoff background laugh*
*ryan voice* the history of team nice dynamite is fraught with dereliction and in-fighting
*ray sounds of jerking off in the distance quietly*
if you ever wanted to know what an achievement hunter video is like ^^
it’s 2013 why can’t i delete friends in real life
ok so it turns out what i was thinking of is called murder
- (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
- Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
- (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
- Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
- Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
- Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
- Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
- (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
- Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
superlockedhogwartianinthetardis:
i think i have to pick up where he left offShopping with people, buying things
the family discount
dad’s on a shopping trip
and he hasn’t been home for a few hoursEvery other fandoms takes a few months to go insane… Supernatural skips several months of no updates and goes straight past Sherlockian-insanity.
writing is safer, somehow
because my pen cannot stutter like my lips do,
and words get stuck in throats,
not fingertips, can’t stumble
on paper trails of blue lines
because writing is definite and clear
and no one can tell if i am crying
or laughing
through written words alone
(Source: childishnotions)
In primary school when you and your friend would pretend to sharpen your pencils to have a chat at the bin
This is the most UK-centric sentence I’ve ever seen written
In primary school when you and your mate would pretend to sharpen your woody pointy writer-downers to have a jolly good chin wag at the bin
In primary school when crikey mate barbecue hugh jackman schooner arvo creek billabong kangaroo drop bear bin
(Source: slurmmckenzie)
